There is a unanimous agreement that what I know about bidding is
not only not worth knowing, but positively dangerous. Witness this
hand, which occurred in the early stages of instructing my wife in
the finer points of the game.

As South I toyed with the idea of opening two or three notrump,
but decided I should bid honestly, since I believed in the Socratic
method of instruction. Accordingly, I opened...

 South
   K 8
   K 7
   A K Q J 10 4 2
   K 6

...one club, to hear one spade on my left, and two passes to
me. I ventured ...

 South
   K 8
   K 7
   A K Q J 10 4 2
   K 6

... one mild notrump, only to hear two hearts on my left, pass from
partner, and two spades on my right. Delighted with my cunning,
I now came forth with ...

 South
   K 8
   K 7
   A K Q J 10 4 2
   K 6

... two notrump, which was greeted with a loud double by West.
I confidently ...

 South
   K 8
   K 7
   A K Q J 10 4 2
   K 6

... redoubled (knowing my dear wife would never suspect this to
be a rescue), which closed the auction. West was a little old lady
who did not believe in leading away from tenaces, so she selected
the 9 of clubs. East won with the ace and returned the 3 of spades
(from a holding of 9-3-2). I followed with the 8 and West took the
queen, ace and another. East, being a stodgy old fellow who didn't
know enough to unblock the third round of the suit, found himself
on lead with accursed 9, on which I had to throw a diamond. He led
a heart through and West took the ace, queen, jack of hearts, three
more spades and two more hearts. At trick 12 I had to decide
whether to discard the king of clubs or the ace of diamonds in
this position:

 South
   K 8
   K 7
   A K Q J 10 4 2
   K 6

West was in the process of cashing her last heart and held one more
card in her hand. I threw the 8 of diamonds from dummy and East
threw the 3 of diamonds (East had shown so far three small in each
major and five clubs to the ace). The 9 of diamonds and queen of
clubs were still outstanding, but which did West hold? I knew full
well there was a six-hundred-point swing riding on my decision, so
I debated with myself at some length before finally releasing ...

 South
   —
   —
   A
   K

... the king of clubs. It was an unfortunate decision, as I was now
down 4600 (instead of a reasonable 4000), and worse, it gave
my wife considerable ammunition. She is a trusting soul, and had
I taken a trick, no doubt would have dismissed the entire incident
as unimportant - as it was, she never tired of repeating to this day,
And he never took a trick.

THE END

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 South
   K 8
   K 7
   A K Q J 10 4 2
   K 6

South 1 1NT 2NT redouble	West 1 2 double all pass	North pass pass pass	East pass 2 pass
Opening lead: 9

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