As M. Hulot, you don't like a lot of conventions in your system,
because remembering them takes up too much brain power, which
you prefer to utilize for the cardplay. Your brother-in-law, however,
forces you to play all the modern gadgets. Alas, you are a simple
player, and your bridge life has suddenly become laden with systemic
bids. What is 2? Is it natural? No, no, it's that infamous fourth-suit
forcing. Should you rebid 3? Or perhaps 2NT or 3NT? Darn it, if he
has diamond support, why didn't he just bid 3?

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 South M. Hulot
   A Q
   A 5 4 3 2
   A 5 4 3 2
   K

You tried to accomodate him by rebidding your diamonds, but now his
3 bid is a mystery. Does this show three-card support? If so, why
didn't he just bid 3 on the previous round?! What is your next bid?

 South M. Hulot
   A Q
   A 5 4 3 2
   A 5 4 3 2
   K

If your brother-in-law has support for hearts, let him keep bidding. If not,
you'd better play 3NT, which might be your last resting place. A beautiful
4th-suit forcing auction, he says, as the opening lead is made and he
puts down his dummy....

 South M. Hulot
   A Q
   A 5 4 3 2
   A 5 4 3 2
   K

Exactly what I expected, you reply, since I had no idea what you had and
I'm not even sure you knew.

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 South M. Hulot
   A Q
   A 5 4 3 2
   A 5 4 3 2
   K

You clear the gadgets from your head and concentrate on the play of
the cards. After winning the first trick, you would like to set up the
dummy. But even if you overtake the king of clubs with the ace and
drive out the queen, it might not help. Sure, you can get back to
dummy in a red suit, but they will play a second spade before that....
Suddenly you see the solution: You play the 3 of spades at trick
one. East plays the 2 and you win the queen. Then you play the
king of clubs to the ace and the jack of clubs. When East follows,
you discard your ace of spades. That leaves you with three possible
entries to dummy: the J-10 of spades, and the two Q-J's. The whole
hand was:

 South M. Hulot
   A Q
   A 5 4 3 2
   A 5 4 3 2
   K

After West won the queen of clubs, he returned a low spade, which you won
in dummy. You then cashed four club tricks and your two aces, for a total
of nine: two spades, two red aces, and five club tricks. Your fool of a
brother-in-law, instead of complimenting your careful play, remarks:
I guess I should have declared the hand myself. I would just cash the
king of clubs and give up a trick to either red king; then I'd score 12
tricks. Tell me, do you think I should rebid 3 instead of 3 to indicate
a half-stopper in spades? - the California cuebid, you know.

THE END

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 South M. Hulot
   A Q
   A 5 4 3 2
   A 5 4 3 2
   K

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