Finney and Heartburn are fighting again, but that doesn't stop them from
entering the Monte Carlo Mixed Pairs as a favorite. Finney begins with a
strong 2 and Heartburn bids 2, waiting. Finney rebids 2 and Heartburn
bids 2NT. Finney bids 3 and Heartburn bids 4.

There you go again, says Finney, making esoteric bids. Some men would try
to interpret the bid rather than criticize it, returns Heartburn.

What was 4 and what is Finney's next call?

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 South Finney
   A K Q 10 7
   A K Q 2
   A 9 4
   7

Finney figures his wife has made an advance cuebid in support of hearts
or spades, so he bids 4 to find out which. Heartburn then strikes with a
second cuebid, 5.

I suppose I should guess where your support lies, mutters Finney. Maybe
you should use some commonsense, returns Heartburn.

Finney thinks about it. What is his next call?

 South Finney
   A K Q 10 7
   A K Q 2
   A 9 4
   7

Finney realizes his wife did not raise 2 to 3, so she must have heart
support. Her cuebids must be the ace of clubs and king of diamonds.
That's enough for him to risk the grand slam.

Very dramatic, says Heartburn, as she puts the dummy down....

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 South Finney
   A K Q 10 7
   A K Q 2
   A 9 4
   7

Thank you, says Finney, you have what I need, this time.

Why do your compliments sound so unkind? she replies.

Finney wins the king of diamonds in dummy and plays the ace and king
of hearts. West follows to the first round but then discards a low diamond.
How will Finney continue?

 South Finney
   A K Q 10 7
   A K Q 2
   A 9 4
   7

Finney lays down the ace of diamonds, as everyone follows. His plan is
to ruff the 9 of diamonds in dummy with the 7 of hearts, cash the jack
of hearts and lead the jack and 5 spades to hand, and then draw the
last trump.

Suddenly he sees the danger of the diamond ruff and realizes there is a
much safer play. He leads the 7 of clubs to the ace and ruffs a club
with the 2 of hearts. Then he cashes the queen of hearts, leads the
7 of spades to the jack and draws the last trump with the jack of
hearts, discarding his 9 of diamonds on this trick. Then he leads a
spade and spreads his cards, claiming seven.

 South Finney
   A K Q 10 7
   Q 2
   A 9
   7

Lucky I saw the club ruff in time, Finney says. Don't worry, if you hadn't
I would have pointed it out to you in the postmortem, Heartburn says.

I don't suppose you could have responded, 'well played, dear.'

I would have, darling, if you hadn't cashed the ace of diamonds, risking a
diamond ruff.

THE END

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 South Finney
   A K Q 10 7
   A K Q 2
   A 9 4
   7

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